My Privates..

Inhibited introversion
Flooded depression
Lack of understanding
Extremity of change
Self hatred
Pissed in general
Eeyore sweater
Red wine
Gray pants
White couch
Just thoughts
This is why I don’t hang out with myself very often. We’re not good friends.

Empty house. Empty bed. Everyday.
Then I go work in a warehouse that’s empty. Have conversations that are empty.
I am just starting to feel lonely. and sad.

Sidelines is what you play when you’ve lost your position.

.Truth.

…When I’m at my worst…

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

That’s twice that he has moved on to other people and things. Don’t let there be a third. You’re too good for a third.

I wont tell your name.

An orange glow reflects off of your soul
as your spirit flows through the speakers
and out into the world as the blackest night blankets your delicate fingers.
A nostalgic wind caresses my face with an Icy chill of understanding and acceptance.
A guitar strums my emotions and a drum plays to my heart.
This night is yours. The thoughts are mine.
The feelings are ours?

I stare at my reflection in the mirror: “Why am I doing this to myself?” Losing my mind on a tiny error, I nearly left the real me on the shelf. Don’t lose who you are in the blur of the stars! Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing, It’s okay not to be okay. Sometimes it’s hard to follow your heart. Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising, Just be true to who you are Brushing my hair, do I look perfect? I forgot what to do to fit the mold, The more I try the less it’s working, ‘Cause everything inside me screams No, no, no, no, no… Don’t lose who you are in the blur of the stars! Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing, It’s okay not to be okay. Sometimes it’s hard to follow your heart. But tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising, There’s nothing wrong with who you are!

Truth.

Lust. Comfort. Convenience. none of these are love. They are clever masks that conceal the hurt you feel for seconds of time.

You are worth more than you think you are. More than the fling on Christmas and Spring break.

More than the thoughts that SOMEONE ELSE puts in your head.

Not a single one person should be able to put your self worth in a bottle and tell you when you’re ALLOWED to use it.

you are wonderful. Generous. Kind hearted. Smart, responsible, and beautiful. You make my heart smile. You make everything brighter with simply your presence. And yet, you allow someone. No SOMETHING snuff you out like a candle.

Nothing you do will ever be good enough for him.

Lean on God. Lean on your friends. Lean on yourself. And if need be, lean on your family. I know the family part involves admitting defeat, which is hardest. So, that’s why it is last.

You are MORE than this.

More than anyone tells you.

You are a individual that was created and grown in love and in faith. You are what others perceive you to be. And to this someone, you’re easy. Available. Comfortable.

Be beautiful. Hard to get. And exciting. I know you are.

Now If only YOU would believe it.